The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
