Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Randomize
