mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I feel like a drive thru vagina
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