ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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