I'm going to rape someone's good day.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
