Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Randomize
