i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
