I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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