At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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