are you still at the devil's house?
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
