Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
