Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
