he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
