oh god the rape fog is back!
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
