the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
my being single is dangerous.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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