@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
