Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize
