just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Randomize