im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Randomize
