I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
