I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
