The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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