i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
