i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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