I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
