MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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