Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Damn victory sex feels great
Randomize