bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
