The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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