i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
is it fun? or sober?
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
