I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Randomize
