can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
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