But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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