I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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