I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
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