You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
