She went from zero to smokin in five shots
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
