How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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