It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
