Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
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