I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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