please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
