I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
please come you make the beer taste better
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Randomize
