Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
