So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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