so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
