1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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