I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Sext me about skeletons
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
