I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize
