I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
