Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
You should frame my arrest warrant.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
