she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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