TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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