Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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