Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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