We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Maybe he injected his testicle?
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
