The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Randomize
