would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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