And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
