He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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