I just made out with a guy for $7.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize