Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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