Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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