I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
