This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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