im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Randomize
