I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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