3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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