i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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