You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Enjoy the penises
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
