Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Randomize
