remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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