He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I'm passing your future prison.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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