Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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