we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
